Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Some thoughts about weddings


My niece got married last night. She's very young (18), as is her Hattan (groom/husband), and they've been together for a few years and they already seem like a young version of an old married couple (in the good way) -- you, know the type? They never do anything without consulting each other and "stuff" like that.

My niece, who is a beautiful young woman, never looked more beautiful. If I were the crying type, I'd have been bawling (one of my friends, whose daughter has been close friends with my niece since 1st grade, asked me how I could not be crying and I told her I just wasn't the crying type (actually, strangely enough, I cry more over movies and TV shows than I do over real life -- I'm not quite sure why).

I adore my niece (as I do all my nieces and nephews -- they are the light of my life) and, despite a few things that bothered me (like the photographer just wouldn't move out of my way at the Huppa), I had a very nice time at the wedding.

But this whole experience has made me a bit introspective. Here I am at an age which is traditionally one of beginning the empty nest or marrying off children or welcoming new grandchildren, and I'm still single. I look at my beautiful niece and I see her hope for the future, her new husband, who is a perfect fit, KI"H, for her. And then I think of the contrast of my life and I can't help but think that, despite all the comments of "Oh, she's too young!" that my niece and my new nephew-in-law have the right idea.

Getting married young, while it often doesn't work out, helps those involved side step the issues of older newlyweds, the issues of being set in one's ways, the issues of dealing with major lifestyle differences. Younger people have less invested in their current lifestyle and, therefore, have less to lose. It's easier to compromise when your life is a clean slate.

There may be someone out there for me, but it's getting harder and harder to find someone who I:
1) click with
2) am attracted to
3) am willing to at least explore the possibilities of a future together

(and vice versa). I've had a few near misses in the past (a couple in the recent past). I'm not sure if each of these near misses makes me feel I'm likely to find someone or that I'm unlikely to find someone.

My best friend reminded me after one of the more recent fiascoes that this relationship came on suddenly and grew quickly (but then crashed and burned horribly quickly too). She said that just days before meeting this gentleman I had no thoughts of anything like that happening and that it could happen just as quickly and just as suddenly again (and, perhaps, actually work out for once in my life).

I don't know how many of you have read What Color is your Parachute?, a book about finding the perfect job/career. I didn't read the entire book, but I got one big thing out of it -- a job search, the author said, is a whole series of nos followed by one YES! and that YES! is worth all the nos.

I guess one's search for one's bashert is that same thing........

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Strong Biblical Women
Strong Biblical Women 2
Why Be Vegetarian
Vegetarianism: Getting Started 1
Vegetarianism: Getting Started 2
Rosh Hashana
Quick Vegan Cooking
Creating new recipes from old
Strong Biblical Women Part 3
Hanuka About the Jewish Calendar
Witches and Morality
Christmas and the Jewish Single

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Israel and it's Place in the World
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